Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm struggling lately. . .

Collin has been in New Orleans since Wednesday. Leaving Delilah and I at home until Sunday afternoon. I've been struggling with the single mom stuff this time around.
For starters before he left I finally went back to the doctor. My ear was still plugged a week after my antibiotics were gone and it started throbbing. So I went back for a follow up and was told I have an ear infection. They are thinking that my antibiotics (1 pill once a day for 5 days) that I got for my sinus infection weren't strong enough to get rid of everything, so she gave me a new antibiotic (1 pill every 12 hours for 7 days). In addition to the antibiotics I was given ear drops that I am suppose to use 4 times a day for seven days laying down for a 1/2 hour at a time.
Ummm... have you met my daughter?
Here is what I have to deal with if I put drops in my ear in front of her.
She is trying to get the cotton ball out of my ear. I was taking the above picture when she did the sneak attack and this is what I captured.
ticked she didn't get the cotton ball.
When Collin is away I try to make meals that I know he wouldn't like, this week split pea soup, lentil soup, white turkey chili.

This is the first time I made split pea from scratch, it was delicious but I had to touch these to make it that way.
That day I tried really hard to get Delilah out, hoping it would make for an easier evening for me. We went on a walk at the walkway where she kept trying to get out of her stroller and freaking out. I had a church bag sized bag full of things to keep her attention while we were walking; snacks, books, sippies, a DVD player with dora nothing helped!! I am never taking her on a walk again, it got me a little more than frazzled. So after we finally got home I put her in bed for her nap and I had a cup of delicious soup and read a book. I didn't clean I didn't do anything, and you could tell by my apartment.
She then woke up in a irritable mood. We went to the Linders house to drop some things off for the Blessing or Burden party this Saturday. D played with their kids while we were chatting, it was a nice break. The second I put her in the car she started whining and whined and cried most the ride home, but I still had to go to the store (wal mart to make things even worse).
She was all over the place, if I put her in the front of the cart she climbs up me and pulls on my clothes so badly that it's not underwear I'm afraid I'll show. If I put her in the basket of the chart (what has been working for months now) she tries to climb out, if I let her walk she pulls things off the shelves. It's a wrestling match the entire time,bribes and snacks have stopped working. Luckily I only needed a few things so I hurry. We get to the check out and I am trying to be fast as I throw things on the belt then push the cart while holding her to the end of the register. Of course Delilah wants to touch everything including the debit machine so it cancels my swipe. The cashier looks at me and says, "why don't you just put her in the buggy?"
Oh, Thank you ma'am for that wonderful insight! Why didn't I think of that?! Of course let's put her in the buggy!
I put her in just so I could swipe the card only to barley catch her as she starts to fall out. We get home and and finally I just caved. She got whatever she wanted because that's what kept her calm and quiet and I mean who cares if she eats her strawberry in the tub? Who cares if after the tub she eats some more strawberries and gets covered in strawberry juice? Who cares, not me, not tonight.

Remember this is post bath.
oh and after she went to bed and the house was quiet I finally started to clean up when I noticed maintenance had come in sometime during the day when I was gone. Cool, that's what I needed a stranger seeing my filthy split pea/ham hock kitchen and Delilah torn up living room.
The next day (friday)I thought that since getting out didn't help we would just hang at home instead. It didn't work.

I think I just need to come to grips that she's in the terrible two's and I need to change my approach, because what we are doing now isn't working. Today when I didn't cry, I tried really hard to just laugh at her, honestly I feel like those are my only options cry or laugh unfortunately one is easier than the other.

thanks I just needed to vent.


Eve said...

You'll make it through this stage, I promise. I was just realizing today that Wren has come MILES in the last six months. This is what helped me get through it, which is probably what you're already doing, but is something I am still learning.

I try to give Wren options so she feels like she has some control over her life. I let her choose between two shirts when we get dressed. I give her two or three choices for breakfast and lunch. If she really is ready to throw down a fit over wearing pink flipflops that are too little, I try to anticipate before we get to the fit and just let her do it.

For six months she wouldn't let me do her hair or take pictures of her. For the most part, I just dealt. One day after not pushing it forever, she let me put a clip in and take some pictures. And I skipped a lot of fights just letting it go for a few months.

I am pretty sure this is not anything new, I am still fumbling in the dark with parenting, but this helped us through the twos. (Obviously Wren is still two, but I seriously think she is out of the "terrible" part. So there's some hope for ya.)


Eve said...

And don't get me wrong, we still have fits and meltdowns and that whole language barrier thing. But overall, things are so much easier.

Eve said...

p.s. How do you look cute with a cotton ball in your ear? Not fair.

Matt Linder said...

Maybe she's cutting a tooth or has an ear infection?

Mary Lou said...

I'm sorry it's been a hard week. She really is being temperamental lately. You're a good mom just keep at it, that's all you can do.

Betsy said...

I feel your pain. And you are right, some things just don't matter, you feed her as many strawberries as she wants until Collin gets home on Sunday. And in the meantime dream about the fabulous things you get to buy to reward yourself for this weekend alone.

Graydon Blair said...

Ah....isn't 2 a fun age?
We're on 2 year old #3.

And, yep, I feel your pain.

I read somewhere that reasoning with a 2 year old is pretty much impossible.

However, if you get a chance, pick up the book Love & Logic for toddlers. It might give you some idea's. We've sure enjoyed it and it seems to be working (ie. Laurie's now doing jobs before she can play and we're seeing quite a few less fits.)

Good luck!

Anna said...

I just saw this, sorry I'm slow. I believe it's unfair mormon's aren't allowed to drink, there should be a you're not allowed to drink unless you have a toddler rule. :) My only advice is to find a way that you don't lose it, because once you've lost it they have something on you. But this is really hard to do. I couldn't figure it out with Lincoln. :) But you're better at stuff than me. :)

red said...

SO SO SO SORRRY! Being alone sucks. SUCKS. Especially when you're used to a break at the end of the day. There is NOTHING wrong with putting your kid in front of a movie so you don't kill them. There is nothing wrong with giving your kid some treats so they'll stop crying long enough for you to catch your breath. And there is nothing wrong with locking your child in a safe room while you practice deep breathing. I hope she sleeps and that you get a nice hot bath at least ONE night this weekend. DO whatever it takes to NOT kill your children. Every once in a great while you'll have a super fun moment where she makes you laugh or smile and you'll remember why you love her (not that you ever forget) and then you can just keep going. Keep it up you're doing awesome. Sometimes we just go for a ride in the car and I turn up the radio really really loud so I can't hear them screaming and fighting with each other. Sometimes I just close my eyes and pretend that I'm in Hawaii all by myself....I do that a lot :) Good luck. Hang in there. And I'm really impressed with the ham hock. TRUE southern Belle. I bet it makes a huge difference when you use the ham hock. That's what they use to cook greens down there.

red said...

P.s. Daniel worked late last night and is at work again ALL day today and we went to breakfast yesterday and Taco time today. Sometimes digging into the non-existent food budged makes it all better. (one time I found like 12 bucks in change in my house.)

VJBlair said...

Wow! I can relate. I read something from my doctor that 2-year-olds don't always know what they want and I tend to agree with that. It is sometimes impossible to make them happy and during those times you need to give yourself a break. I usually put laurie in her room (or at times the garage, depending on what she was doing) and let her calm down. This gives me time to regain my composure. (Repeat as many times as needed.)

Good luck.

Max said...

Ha, Ha, Ha. Sounds like you are raising you.
I want you know how very very true the saying is "Grand kids are your reward for not killing your own"!
With the exception of Delilah, I've gotten to hug and kiss everyone of the grand kids this week. The only thing I like more than that is hugging and kissing Grandma!

grandma blair said...

So Sorry Shelley, When she is six and can talk to you it will all seem like a bad dream. Good luck till then. Love ya!

Cindy said...

Good luck Michelle, hang in there. It really is hard, especially if you're alone. When Dave has to leave for just one night and I have to put all the girls to bed alone, I end up throwing pillows at people :)
Sometimes I try to think of how I would have liked someone to treat me when I was 2 and acting up, and that helps me decide what to do.
Sending hugs from your little nieces in Utah :) () () () ()

red said... get points for doing your hair and getting dressed while your husband is gone!!!