Tuesday, May 11, 2010

moving on..

I have this problem/talent of repressing feelings/emotions that make me uncomfortable. I just push the thoughts out of my mind. I have done this with the moving to Michigan situation. Every time I have thought about moving to Michigan I have thought "we don't need to think about that right now, it's a ways away". I kept thinking we need to get Collin graduated before we worry about it. Or we have movers (complements of Chrysler) who will pack everything up for us and move it for us, I don't need to think about it until it get's closer. May 17th is forever away, I doubt it will ever get here.
Now my problem/talent of repressing isn't perfect and sometimes certain emotions can penetrate my defense. On Sunday I was lucky enough to go to Relief Society (because it was Mother's Day the priesthood made arrangements so all the women in the ward could attend). I went in sat down and began to enjoy my little break from primary. We had the announcements then sang the opening song Hymn #293 "Each Life that Touches Ours for Good". After the song Sister Homewood (the RS president) got up to explain who would be giving the opening prayer, lesson, closing prayer etc. Right when she went to sit down she looked at me and said "and that opening song was for you". I was confused for a moment and really didn't understand what she was saying until she helped me remember the words to the hymn again. It then hit me as I started to reflect on the words of the hymn we just sung.

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

I can easily say that song being sung in my behalf has to be the best compliment I have ever received, and then I was over come with emotion. Everything I had been repressing and not thinking about hit me, I was leaving my home and my SC family, I was leaving, this is really happening. Then I cried. Like an idiot, and I couldn't help it. I try hard not to cry in church, but I couldn't help it. I will miss South Carolina. I toughened up and was able to enjoy the rest of the Mother's day message and keep the emotion at bay for a while.

That is until this afternoon. Like I mentioned earlier we are lucky enough to have movers come and pack up everything for us and move it to Michigan for us. So here it is a week from our move and we haven't done anything except organize and clean. We don't have a ton of stuff so we need to share a moving van. Because of this the moving company had given us a range of dates instead of a specific day to move us. We were told the movers would come between the 12th and 14th, and would give us 24 hours notice before they come. Today not 2 hours after Collin's parent's boarded their flight home we got a call that the movers would be coming on the 12th. I'm not sure what happened but I was suddenly overcome with the reality that our lives are going to change. We are about to take the next big step in our lives and the unknowing is freaking me out! I'm sure I will keep you updated :).


grandma blair said...

What a sweet, sweet compliment to you. I am sure you have touched many lives, and they will surely miss you. You have a whole new life and experiences waiting for you in Michigan. What a blessing it is to have the gospel, so you can actually have a ward family to welcome you to your new home.

State of Grace said...

If it makes you feel better, when Sis Homewood said that, I started to get emotional too! haha (ok, ok..maybe its cause i'm pregnant! haha)
We are really going to miss you! (and your primary kids are going to miss you!) I know that things will be great in Michigan b/c the Lord wouldn't send you there if it wasn't.

Good luck with the movers! Hopefully i'll see you this week??

Max said...

Sometimes, when I feel overwhelmed by something going on, I just sort of say to myself "I can handle it".
Whether it's having to deal with an unpleasant situation, putting up with someone obnoxious, being in charge of something you didn't want, or even attempting a hard hike, walk, jog or bike ride. I can handle it. It doesn't mean it'll be fun or easy, just that you'll get there.
This move should be a step up, although the unknown can be scary.
I worry a lot about stuff that never comes to be. Someone said most of the stuff we worry about never happens. Rick Willoughby said, "Yeah, most of the stuff I worry about never happens, so that just shows it's good to worry about stuff you don't want to happen".
Look to the good of the move.Just think, one good thing is we won't have to come so far out to see you :).

Taylor said...

Sad! But Sister Homewood is always dead on with that stuff and she's right. I know you touched a lot of our lives for good in South Carolina, and like I said, they're gonna be lucky to have you in Michigan. We will just miss you a lot!

You're so funny and easy to get along with. You'll find tons of people that will love you in Michigan like we all love you here!

Anna said...

I like to call it "looking ahead" I too do not like to say good bye and try really hard not to worry about big deals. :) Good luck. Enjoy the crazy time.

red said...

Love you. It will all work out and you'll be fine. Make sure you put all the parts to the stuff they take apart in a place you can find. I think they lost all the parts of Violets crib. You're going to do awesome. Remember how hard it was to move out there? It will take some time but soon you will love your new home as much as your old one. (and your old old one.)

Love love love you. good luck. Write in your journal if you can find it :)

red said...

p.s. enjoy every second you can there...and that's the worst song in the universe. it ALWAYS makes me cry. But it's nice to know how much they love you.

Eve said...

I'm so excited for your new adventure! I am sure it is bittersweet, but I'm also sure you'll find your own place in MI and touch lots of others' lives for good. :)

Mary Lou said...

I can remember how it felt to move and leave somewhere I really loved and all my friends. I found that everywhere we moved I ended up loving. You'll meet great new people and get involved in Michigan. It doesn't make this move any easier. It's hard to leave a place behind where there are lots of memories and growing times. You're both amazing and strong. Have a good attitude and you'll be fine. Love you guys!