First I'll start with Delilah's:
The summer of 2006 when Collin was in China on a study abroad we decided when he got home we would try to get pregnant with our first child. I went to the doctor that summer and told him we were going to start trying. Due to my endometriosis he told me if we don't get pregnant within 6 months we should come in and discuss our options.
Most of you know the story, after 6 months we were not pregnant so in November of 2006 I had my 5th laparoscopy surgery to clean out the endometriosis, after a month of recovery we started on Clomid.
I HATE Clomid, it has different side effects on everyone and for me I gained 40 pounds, broke out like a 12 year old boy, and became psycho (the most common side effect). I was highly emotional and each month I had symptoms of being pregnant because of the Clomid which would get my hopes up and then I would get the dreaded one lined pregnancy test ... and then I would cry. This happened each month.
And if you are a woman who has struggled with getting pregnant I don't have to tell you that all you see are babies. I know a few friends got pregnant during this time. I also remember one night when I was at work a customer came in to pick up her job and for some reason started telling me about her 17 year old daughter. Who had a condom break on her so she took her to the pharmacy and got the plan B pill for her but she still ended up pregnant. She kept saying how they did everything to try to keep from getting pregnant and I guess sometimes you just can't control that kind of stuff.
So that sucked, I wanted to show her my planner that had almost a year of ovulation code written all over it, and tell her to shut up.
We did 50mg of Clomid until July of 2007 when I was sick of the drugs and didn't care if I had a zillion babies at once, I NEEDED to get pregnant. So instead of taking 1 pill I took 2, I told you those Clomid pills are a mean drug and mess with your mind. On July 24, 2007 we got pregnant but we wouldn't know for another 2 weeks.
The week before we found out I broke out even more, and started getting a weird car sick feeling in my stomach. The night before we found out we went out to eat with friends to a rib joint. Normally I would order chicken because I don't eat a lot of red meat. I remember leaning over to Collin and saying "I want ribs, and I don't want to share."
The next morning it was a Sunday I woke up around 7 and knowing it was "test" day went to the bathroom and took my pregnancy test with me. I remember the exact feeling that came over me as I watched that second line that had never appear slowly appear before my eyes.
SHOCK. FREAK OUT. CRY. EXCITEMENT all in one little moment and I was still sitting on the toilet.
I ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed and showed Collin (who was still asleep).
"what am I looking at?"
"look there are two lines!!"
"what does that mean"
"I think we are PREGNANT"
"Oh cool" kiss.... roll over
"are you kidding me?!"
"Michelle I'm sure the fetus would understand that it's 7 in the morning on a Sunday and I want to sleep a little more"
**He later told me he was a little freaked out and didn't know what to say, so don't give him to hard of a time in a few days he showed his excitement, like only waiting 2 weeks before he declared he couldn't keep it a secret any more so we told our families.**
Oh and when we went in for our 1st doctor appointment I was terrified that there was going to be more than one baby. The doctor showed me our little blob and said there's the heart beat.
I timidly asked "just one?"
"just one" the doctor replied
Then I told him how I took two pills instead of one. He looked at me and smiled a little. When I got my records I noticed that he made a note of it in my file. :)
In March of 2009 Delilah wasn't even a year yet and I got the impression that we should start trying to get pregnant. I'm not one to argue with the Lord, but I was a little nervous to tell Collin my impression. We started trying but not too seriously and off and on.
Since I was nursing Delilah still my periods were very mild, which was perfect for trying to get pregnant. It was also a good time to map my ovulation because the periods were so mild I could have three consecutive. As soon as I stopped nursing my painful periods came back with full force. I had to take a break every two months or so because they had become so painful I was forced to stay in bed for most of it. Luckily Collin was home a lot the second year of school and could help with Delilah on those days.
I started doubting my impression and thought there is no way the Lord would want me going through all this pain right now. Then I got the impression to go to the doctor. So I found one doctor that would take our insurance and it was a terrible experience which I left crying. She seemed to not believe me about my surgeries (but in her defense how many 27 year old women have had 5 surgeries for endometriosis). I told her I wanted to become pregnant and that I thought I needed a surgery. Terrible tearful long story short she gave me more birth control. We decided that we had done everything we could do and that once we were in Michigan I would see a real doctor, get a surgery, then get on the terrible hated drug Clomid again.
So I was on birth control again. I felt kind of guilty like I was lacking faith and not obeying the Lord, but I was in so much pain I knew he would understand. For two months I was on birth control then at the end of march I forgot to put it back in in time (I use nuvaring, and have since I was 18. I struggled a long time to find the right birth control for me I'm a big believer in it). So I figured we may as well try since I'm going to have a period anyway. I did the math and figured out I would be ovulating the week Collin's parents were in town. I know I want to get pregnant, and the Lord wants me to try, but I have standards. I wasn't about to conceive a child with Collin's parent's in our living room on a blow up mattress now was I? So I figured I would just skip this month and deal with the consequences. We had enough on our plate with moving anyway.
Then something weird happened. On May 3rd instead of the 5th I was told via mucus (such a gross word) I was ovulating. This is weird because I have my cycle well mapped and for some reason this month the mucus method didn't line up with my calendar method, which it almost always does. So casually I told Collin
"My body thinks it wants to make a baby tonight (Monday May 3rd) instead of Wednesday"
"okay" (never much of a fight)
Then a whirl wind of events happened
May 5th: Wade and Mary Lou fly in
May 6th: Collin's graduation
May 7th: Charleston (I remember a very Sharp pain in my right ovary on this day. I was sad because I thought it was me ovulating late)
May 10th: collin's parent's go home
May 12th: Movers came and took our stuff and car
May 13th: went to dollar store to get cheap toys for Delilah to play with, may as well pick up two pregnancy test while we are there.
May 14th and 15th: very bored
May 16th: last full day in South Carolina, and a Sunday. It was our last time going to our ward in South Carolina. We were all dressed and ready to go but had a half hour before we needed to leave. I remember telling Collin it was kind of sad because who knows if we will see our good friends again. I remember saying
"I kinda have a stomach ache, I don't know if it's nerves because we are moving tomorrow or because we are about to say Good bye to everyone. It's almost like I'm. . . . car sick"
The instant I thought the word I ran into the bathroom and looked for the dollar store test, it wasn't even "test" day for two more days but I thought I would give it a try.
And there they were two pink lines, one fainter than the other but there were two of them. I looked at it in disbelief and slowly walked out to Collin.
"yah?" He was laying on the floor because we didn't have any furniture in the apartment. He looked up at me and saw what I was holding and my face. "Are you pregnant?"
"I think so."
"well that's cool."
I showed him the test and that it's normal for the second line to be faint. We talked about how we should take the second test when we get home because this was just a dollar store test and how accurate can it be?
So we went to church and said our goodbye's and I need to apologize to everyone I said good bye to. If it came off slightly distracted, it's because it was, but I really do love and miss all of you. I feel bad that I don't get to share this pregnancy with you. Church was great but we were both anxious to get back to our empty apartment and the remaining dollar store test.
I ran into the bathroom while Collin put D down for her nap only to find out the test was a dud, I didn't even get one line. At that point the ox was in the freaking myer. Collin said he would run to Target a little later tonight to get some things for the flight and pick up a pregnancy test then. I agreed I could wait that long and it would be a little less breaking of the Sabbath.
At 8:30 Collin ran to target to pick up some snacks for D and a pregnancy test. He started off in the dollar section up front just getting whatever they had there for her then went to the pharmacy section. On his way there a clerk told him they were closed and he needed to take what he had and check out. When Collin told me this I said you didn't tell him all you needed was a pregnancy test? I'm sure from one man to another he would have run and got one for you! but no, Collin just did what the nice man asked him to do and bought his snacks and coloring books and left.
The next morning around three we left our South Carolina home for Michigan. Remember the terrible story of how we got to Michigan saw our apartment and ditched it and were homeless for a while? Now imagine all of that going on and all you can think about is "Am I pregnant?, and wow I'm freaking starving, ooooh a McDonalds."
After we found an apartment and went back to our hotel Collin ran to go get some gas at the gas station and was told to pick up a pregnancy test. He came back empty handed, it had to wait another day.
Finally May 18th in that afternoon we went to a walmart to pick up a few things and have our glasses fixed. We also picked up a pregnancy test. When we went back to the hotel I snuggled D and put her in her bed for a nap (which I knew she wouldn't take), then proceeded to the bathroom.
I have seen so many negative pregnancy tests that I was trying really hard to not get my hopes up. So I took the test then closed my eyes and counted to 180 then opened them to see two beautiful lines staring back up at me.
Note the "pregnant" line is super dark? It was like it was saying you are SUPER pregnant.
I went out of the bathroom and showed it to Collin, who was laying next to D in bed. I climbed in bed with them and the four of us laid there in a hotel bed smiling. Happy to start the next chapter in our lives.