Thursday, April 28, 2011
Now I am a mother, I am living my life long dream. Why then on most days does it feel contrary to that. I guess when you are 7 you don't think about the sleepless nights, the constant worrying, and then the guilt. Oh how that mother's guilt gets me daily.
My friend took this picture of my yesterday at play group, I was nursing James (in the photo he had fallen asleep if you were wondering why he was so low). Delilah came up to me and peeked in to check on James like she always does. The little girl in front of me, well she's obsessed with James and for the longest time just sat in my lap keeping watch. I look at this picture and I think; look at the mess that is me. I don't have any make up on and got caught in a micro burst while putting the kids in the car hence the fluffy hair. I am wearing yoga pants and a shirt that is six years old. My bag has been pulled apart trying to find things I had forgotten and I'm bare foot. Where did the college educated professional (thinner) woman go? Then I see that I am smiling. Even though my days are long and hard I really do love what I am doing. I am grateful that Collin can provide for us so I get to raise my children 24-7. It is the most tiring and exhausting job I have ever had but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I need to remember that more often, especially on the crazy play dough in the carpet, poop in the bed kind of days.
Posted by Michelle at 6:59 AM